Happy Valentine's Day

When people ask me how I plan to spend Valentine's Day, I have to admit that my answer usually disappoints. You see, I try to treat every day as a special day. When my husband and I began dating, I told him that I wanted each day to count, and that anyone who wants to share a life with me had to be prepared to share that philosophy.

Don't buy me roses for Valentine's Day. Plant a rose garden so I can enjoy roses from spring thru fall. Buy me a gift for no reason - it doesn't have to be costly. It just has to say, "I saw this and I thought of you."

Write me a love letter. Make a memory. Cook a special dinner for me. Remember how I take my coffee.

It's all about the thought behind the action. I don't want something because it is expected. I want something because it is heartfelt. That means more to me than diamonds.

So often, people have expectations that far exceed reality, and they are disappointed. You cannot make someone behave in a way that is uncomfortable. Some people are thoughtful, romantic and frivolous. Others are practical, forgetful, or pragmatic. That doesn't mean that they don't care. Try letting your partner know before hand what it is that will make you happy. In spite of what we believe, have never met a man who was a mind reader.

Take care to NOT set yourself up for a letdown. Be realistic.

Not everyone has a special someone to celebrate Valentine's Day with. For some, it is a day of loneliness, sadness, disappointment. Why not get some of your friends together and open a bottle of champagne? Book a massage. Read a good book. See a funny movie.

Stop waiting for socially sanctioned holidays to make your life special. Make every day count.

The Dance

In November, my husband and I took a cruise on board the Queen Mary 2. They boast the largest ballroom on the seas, so of course we had to check it out for ourselves. To our amazement, the ballroom was filled to capacity every night with the most elegant dancers twirling around the dance floor. There was no way we were going to go up there and do our side to side shuffle!

When we returned, I was determined that we needed to learn to dance and I signed us up for lessons. When we first met with Daniel of Daniel's Ballroom Dance, we were convinced that we needed private lessons. He assured us that we would be great candidates for group participation, since one is rarely dancing alone on the floor. And so, we began.

Monday is our only regularly available night, and Daniel only offers Salsa lessons on Monday. So, Salsa it is. Although my preference was to waltz or foxtrot, I figure that if I can master latin dancing, I can go anywhere from there.

It was intimidating at first. While I am no great shakes on the dance floor, my husband is much more,hmmm...bull -in -a-china-shop like in his technique. He is a big guy with big feet, unlike our instructor who has these tiny dancer feet that glide around the floor. Oh, and dancing in sneakers doesn't help.

Week after week, we went to class surviving the cramping legs, the achy joints. He learned how to lead, and I learned how to let him lead. The footwork became more familiar. It started to become fun.

Over the holidays we missed a few classes, and now we are back into the swing of things. Although we are still in the Beginner's Class, I think it won't be long before we get bumped up to Intermediate.

The most interestiing part of this has been watching the dynamics of the other members of the class. It is easy to tell who was dragged there by a partner and isn't really interested. Or the couples where one is so much better than the other and has to be so patient and understanding, all the while feeling frustrated. The best is watching the partners who are really enjoying the process and enjoying each other, working as a team.

And the most interesting of all is the single folks who join the class. They are the most courageous, in my opinion. Usually we have one or two men who come solo, and once there was a woman by herself. Occasionally we have a single man and a single woman at the same class who can partner up for practice. But I think it takes guts to get out there with all these couples and learn something that cries out for a partner for participation.

So, even though we set out to learn how to do a respectable waltz, we are having great fun and learning so much more. It has been a lesson in stepping outside of my comfort zone....and surviving.