Robert's Grave

Today I went to my brother Robert's grave to clean it up and plant some hyacinths that I picked up at Easter time. We chose this particular resting place for a number of reasons. it was one of the few non denominational cemeteries in the area that offered cremains plots - smaller than the regular plots. And it needed to be in a location that was reasonably accessible to both his biological family and his widow & children.

It has always bothered me that it is not a nice place. It is run down, poorly maintained, and has no restrictions on how many plastic poinsettias a family can cram onto the plot at any given time, where they are left indefinitely until they finally blow away.

Today was the final straw. The cemetery folks had strategically placed brilliant blue rubber trash cans throughout the grounds, on resting right alongside my brother's headstone. Grrrrr.

As I began digging around the stone to clean up the overgrown weeds, I began to wonder if I could just keep digging and pull the whole thing out. I could bring it home and replant him in my garden where I could keep a better eye on him. his widow has long since remarried and moved away. She wouldn't even know the difference.

Then I decided that I should probably get permission from the cemetery, and from my other siblings. I'm still undecided. I just know that it made me sad to walk away and leave him in a place where it looks like no one ever cared for him. Although he wasn't the easiest guy to love, we really did- love him, I mean.

What a conundrum!